A wander around Glastonbury, the perusal of bookshops' Mind/Body/Spirit sections and meeings with many varied and beautiful people had introduced me to the concept of channelling. The Devents I am now describing took place over ten years ago; I was 30 years old, I had gone from being sceptical about religious and psychic experience to an awareness of angelic realms that made me open to possibilities beyond the factual, provable and scientific.

Following my visit to London, I felt that the Tantra weekends were not for me; neither did I feel drawn to Shanti's sessions, though I knew that the person who had hosted the monthly group for her also ran a circle of her own. David wanted to come along with me, so I contacted Shanti to find out how to contact Tina.
Shanti said she was glad to hear from me, and asked for my new number, mentioning, also, that she was now running a group somewhere else which incorporated meditation, music and movement. That sounded fine, so we decided to go to both groups. It felt important to investigate several options when it came to spiritual growth. On a quest for truth we might encounter charlatans, we knew but, just as the saying says about it being better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, there was a burning quest for knowledge that needed to be satisfied.

Within the hour Shanti telephoned to say that she had been in meditation and had a strong impression that she must come and see me as soon as possible. She would say nothing more on the 'phone, and made an appointment for a few days time.

I was finding my own meditations easier, and was very happy that David wanted to participate. We sat together, a wonderful experience to share with a partner.

The only negative part of life was that Rob came back, stating that he could not stay with either of his parents, so he would either need to move back in with me, or I would need to find somewhere else. He did not have a full-time job, and could freelance from home but earned very little money. I was doing a few days each week in the shop, but was paying a sitter so it made sense for me to move in with David until I found something suitable for the children and I. Unceremoniously stripped of my child-benefit book I left the house and walked away, one of the most difficult walks I had ever taken. The heaviness in my chest as I left my babies was enormous; when I arrived at David's I let the tears that I had refused to shed in public truly flow. He ran me a bath and cooked me a meal while I sobbed into the water and worked out how many week's wages I would need for a deposit on a small house for us all.

I had not really counted on the level of Rob's anger. He covered all bases, visiting my relations and friends very quickly, having also claimed custody of the car, as well as my employer, telling everyone that David was the reason for our breakup, and suing me for adultery, rather than going for mutual consent, as we had orinally discussed. The result of this was, initially, that I was asked to leave my job. My tendency to keep things private meant that nobody got to hear my side of the story. My lack of a job meant I had no way of saving for somewhere to live. I felt he was trying to force me back home, not because he loved me, but because he felt humiliated and hurt that I had found someone else so quickly.

David, ever the knight in armour, promised always to take care of me. Although we had no space to have the children to stay, we had them with us at weekends and two days a week, walking them the half hour across town. I had tried to spend time with them at the house, but one afternoon Rob's anger erupted and he had me up against a kitchen cupboard by my throat, in front of the tiniest children. I never felt he would harm the children, but had no desire for them to have to witness this kind of behaviour, not to mention the terror of being in that position.

David borrowed £250 to buy a car, making it easier for me to see the children, and we made the best of it. The children were, of course, confused. We did everything we could to make things nice for them, and were fortunate to have friends and neighbours who helped out. We had some wonderful evening bonfires, with baked potatoes and music. My friends at church were also very supportive. One elderly friend looked across the room to where David was playing with the children. She patted my arm. "That man is a Saint!" she announced.